gray lake

Why can't I sleep?

WHY?  I'm SO ANGRY!  It's almost six in the morning, and I WANT to sleep, and I NEED to sleep, SO WHY CAN'T I?  I honestly don't know what to do.  I've decided that there's no way I'm going to get any sleep tonight, since if I try AGAIN (as if I haven't been for the past FOUR HOURS!) and actually do fall asleep I'm going to sleep through work AND class, which I can under no circumstances do, seeing how I did that yesterday.  August is really off to a great start.  And ugh, that was a lot of caps. 

Leaving this for now.  Back in a bit.

...

So I went and showered and, since the humidity in my room was making me even angrier, I decided to go back to the lounge.   So I'm here now, and guess who else is too?

You guessed it.

Ginny.

I know I should love my fellow man (or woman, I suppose), but WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GIRL?  Why can't she just stay out of my life?!  She was snoring up a storm until a few minutes ago, when she woke up and started rambling about her foster mom's house.  Because I care, really I do.  NOT.  I preferred it when she was snoring.  And now I'm pretending I'm busy writing a paper that's due today so that she'll shut up and leave me alone.

AUGH I'M IN SUCH A BAD MOOD.

...Man, I don't even deserve sleep. 

I'm going to post the icons I made before this godawful insomnia set in.   Please don't mind the fact that I'm still BJ-obsessive and most of them are really repetitive and similar.  The computer is telling me that I spelled "repetitive" wrong.  Did I?  Now I have to go check. 

I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT SPELL IT WRONG.

*cries*

Sorry for sounding totally manic.

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gray lake

I'm going to figure out this damn Cut thing.

Seriously, that tool just gives me grief.  I guess I'm cut-retarded or something.

Anyway, though, it's 5:19 in the morning, and I know I'm going to be completely useless tomorrow, because you know what I've been doing?  MESSING AROUND ON PHOTOSHOP (among other things.  I watched "Top Hat" and did some reading, too).  Really, though, this is just beyond ridiculous.   I'm going to post what I've made, though, because I like doing that.

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gray lake

Thinking about peak oil.

I wonder how soon it'll be coming.  How long do we have left?  So much of our culture is dependent on oil - aspects of it that we never even associate with oil or petroleum use, or at least I don't.  Plastic, for example.  And when there's no oil left, when the trucks stop running, when we can't use our cars to get from one place to another with ridiculous ease or manufacture bottles for our completely sterile water...what will happen?  I found a really interesting quote while I was searching for, of all things, a picture of a kitten to use for an icon idea.

"The bad news people are always prepared to hear: 'Man is the scourge of the planet, and he was BORN a scourge, just a few thousand years ago.' But the news I'm here to bring you is much different: 'Man was NOT born a few thousand years ago and he was not born a scourge. Man was born MILLIONS of years ago, and he was no more a scourge than hawks or lions or squids. He lived AT PEACE with the world for millions of years. This doesn't mean he was a saint. This doesn't mean he walked the earth like a Buddha. It means he lived as harmlessly as a hyena or a shark or a rattlesnake. It's not MAN who is the scourge of the world, it's a single culture. One culture out of hundreds of thousands of cultures. OUR culture. And this is the best news I have to bring: We don't have to change HUMANKIND in order to survive. We only have to change a single culture. I don't mean to suggest that this is an easy task. But at least it's not an impossible one." ~ Daniel Quinn

As far as I can tell, this quote lines up with the articles I've read about the latest discoveries on the Homo sapien front, where bones have been discovered that predate Lucy et cetera.  What I wonder, though, is what if Man was only as harmful as a shark or hyena because he lacked the intelligence of the people of today.  And if that is the case, isn't it ironic that what must surely follow, if the chapter on logic in my philosophy book is correct, is that intelligence, and not lack of, is what has caused the problems we currently face or will be facing in the next decade or so?  I know that's a bizarre statement, but if so many things hadn't been invented, hadn't been taken to the next level and the next level (technologically), we wouldn't be seeing the kind of problems we do now.  Our "standard of living" (i.e., comfort level) would be much lower, but would we be, on a global scale, better off?  Oh no, but wait - if we hadn't made the sort of advances we did, I wouldn't be able to type this post for my blog, which would probably be the worst thing ever.  ;) 

"Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call to her tribunal every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blind-folded fear." ~ Thomas Jefferson

People wrote so beautifully in the 18th century.  I completely agree with him.

"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." ~ Robert A. Heinlein

I believe Heinlein was a science fiction writer.  Let me go check. 

...

Yep, he wrote "Stranger in a Strange Land", which I always see at Barnes and Noble and always think I should read, but never do.  He also started that bizarre Starship Troopers thing that I don't understand at all.  Anyway, though, I agree with him, too.

Isn't it interesting that no matter how bad things seem to be getting in the world, you can always get away from it in an instant with a good dose of fantasy?  I mean, if everyone were reasonably well-informed and possibly imbued with a spirit of action (I am FAR from being even partially reasonably well-informed, let me tell you), we probably wouldn't have enough energy left over from trying to fix everything to be so mad about things like Harry Potter and celebrities.  We'd be focused on Real Life.  So I guess on the one hand, you could argue that fantasy has no positive place in the world.

...But on the other, you could argue that fantasy actually helps people get through life without going insane, because who could live with their mind if they actually knew everything going on in the world?  All of the atrocities and oil spills and species extinctions and how many acres of the rainforest are destroyed per second.  Or maybe it's only the very strong that are capable of handling it.  Or maybe that's why young people with aspirations to fix everything are told by seasoned veterans of life that no one can do everything, so they end up focusing on narwhales in the Arctic for the rest of their earthly existence. 

I think I'm going to go make some icons.  Then I'll probably come back, re-read this, and laugh at how stupid I am.
  • Current Music
    nothing, surprisingly enough
gray lake

They're playing "Amaranth" on the radio in Europe.

Lucky bastards, even though I don't listen to the radio EVER.


Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I will always be the way I am. 


I guess that's all I came here to say.


Oh, wait - I did want to say one more thing.  I hate wireless internet.  It's so unbelievably sketchy and invisible.
  • Current Music
    Kamelot...in my MIND
gray lake

What I've made so far.

I've decided to call it a night since it's almost 3:30, but before I did I wanted to put these up.  You can tell they're sooo amateur, especially because I don't have a very developed eye for color and design and placement and detail and all those little things that make Photoshop both painstaking (slash infuriating) and fascinating, but I THINK that there's at least some semblance of a learning curve.  Oh, and, um...most of them are Sonata Arctica lyrics.  Because Sonata RULES (which, clearly, I can't emphasize enough).  Oh, for the stories...


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So...hmmm.  Here's how they go:

Wizard Rock (duh)

Quote from SA's "Sing in Silence", and I knew I had gotten the wording wrong as soon as I saved it (back before I knew how to edit things like that).  It's supposed to be "Fragile like a rose on the snow...", and continues "...eating all your strength and your money.  Walking in the shade day and night, never letting sunshine in your eyes like before"...and I know you can barely read it.  Just an attempt.

Quote from SA's "Broken"  ("I was raised from a broken seed - I grew up to be an unwanted weed").

A discovery of the water-swirly tool.  Caused much excitement.  Used to be a picture of a chain before I SWIRLED IT AROUND!  *maniacal gleam in eyes*

Quote from SA's "The Ruins of My Life".  Best freaking part of the whole song - "My home and winding road, river and trees by the hills we lived on...the ruins of my life I find, a signet ring on the ashes..." et cetera. 

Poem from The Black Jewels.  Hehehehe.  I know the placement of the lettering is off.

Quote from SA's "Wildfire".  It wasn't that smeared-looking at ALL in the actual program...now it's illegible.  *ponder*

Quote from SA's "White Pearl, Black Oceans" - seriously one of my Top 10 favorite songs EVER, I believe.  "I was born and raised by the sea, shy yet proud...learned to stay away from the crowd in my home, my lighthouse...hundred and one steps round and down, New Year's Eve - one night on the town can change one life into eternity".


Alright, so I know you didn't need to hear the detailed background and meaning of each icon, but it was fun for me to type out.  If you made it all the way through that, you are AWESOME.  :)
gray lake

I made that icon.

Just thought I'd tell you.

Though that doesn't mean I understand Photoshop AT ALL!

:D

It's gradually getting later, and I'm gradually getting more and more tired, but...to make the journey all the way back up to my room...just seems so difficult.

I joined the Nightwish forum yet again, because I keep forgetting my username and/or password. I wanted to make an original NW-related icon to upload, so I did, and then I realized that even though it says I should be able to upload images, there is no upload dohickey. So I don't know what to do. Plus now it says that I don't have permission to access any of the topics. Why on earth would joining the forum bar me from the forum? I have no idea. It's been a bit of a headache, trying to figure it all out. Oh, it's getting chilly down here. Nice.

Anyway, Deathly Hallows wasn't quite as bad as I made it out to be in my last post - that was my knee-jerk, first reaction. There was quite a lot in the book that I enjoyed immensely. I love Harry, I love Hermione, I love Ron...and their adventures were great. But her treatment of my other favorite characters was totally deplorable, and I think she could have done much better. I think she just felt like being contrary, to tell you the truth (and don't pull out any interviews that say that she wrote it exactly the way she's been picturing it for years, because I've read them all and they do nothing but frustrate me). She's just not an author that I like very much, if that's possible; I mean, I like most of what she created, but I don't like her.  *sigh*  I just don't know.  I think I should sleep before I say anything else, lol.
  • Current Music
    crickets outside
gray lake

DON'T READ. There are SPOILERS.

I'm done with the book. It's 4:36 and kind of hard to type because I'm really rather tired, but I'm SO ANGRY. And there are going to be an ENORMOUS amount of both spoilers and words in CAPS-LOCK in the next paragraph, so don't read if you don't want to experience RAGE and knowledge of what happens in pretty much the entire rest of the book, if everything that's going through my mind actually gets put down.



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This book was NOTHING like how I wanted. I know that obviously JK Rowling can write the book however she wants, but the end was just SO DAMN WEAK! I mean, come ON! Snape just DIES in the bubble with Nagini, no Snape-Harry interaction at all. Draco was the real owner of the Elder Wand, which could have been bloody awesome if JK hadn't been suck a fucking WENCH and decided to keep him down low and mostly out of the action. Sure, there was some sort of cool Lucius/Narcissa stuff with them caring for their son, but I find the fact that Harry and Ron were ENCOURAGING enmity between their children and Malfoy's just absolutely reprehensible! And Harry was the final Horcruxe? I mean, I suppose it makes sense, one part of me says...but the other part of me just screams BULLSHIT! NO! Too nice! Too easy! That's the best you can come up with? You have half a million poignant plot lines just waiting to happen, and that's what you give us? Continuing House enmity and the easiest Harry/Voldemort battle ever?! AGH! I'M SO ANGRY! I mean, I can concede the fact that the part where Harry goes to give himself up to Voldemort is moving, but there's still something horribly wrong with it. Something horribly wrong with the entire book. The end of the Draco Trilogy had me in total emotional upheavals, but that was because it was GOOD! It has sad and stirring and had this really big climax! This...this was a big climax, but it just can't compare. JK Rowling has killed something that could have been Awesome, in the original sense. She gave in to her own prejudice and bigotry towards the characters she couldn't understand why most of her fans loved; it was within her rights, but it was wrong. The reason the fans loved those characters was because there was potential for a truly great redemption story there. Snape was only part of the story, and even he didn't get his fair dues. It was shallow, and lacking.

I'm so disappointed.

Maybe I'll like it better the next time I read it.

But it will be the same ending.

*cries*
  • Current Music
    Edguy - Save Me
gray lake

Breathe In, Breathe Out

Just got back about an hour ago from the midnight release of Deathly Hallows. Been reading it for about an hour. It's INTENSE! I had to take a quick break to dash upstairs and get my computer, so I thought I'd write briefly about it, though I won't say anything else about the book itself so far. It seriously looks like it will be very feasible to finish it in one night. I don't want to, because I wanted to savor this final installment, but really...once you get going, WHY STOP? And HOW to stop? It's freaking addictive! I'm getting all twitchy right now with the urge to sprint back downstairs and get going again. Hoo boy...so glad I got it tonight!
  • Current Music
    Sonata Arctica - Shy
gray lake

OH MY GOD.

I FOUND THE LEAKED VERSION OF THE NEXT NIGHTWISH SINGLE, AMARANTH. AND IT FUCKING RULES.

I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO SAY ABOUT THAT, EXCEPT THAT TYPING IN CAPS ABOUT A NIGHTWISH FREAKOUT IS AWESOME.

THIS HAS COMPLETELY MADE MY DAY.

If you want to hear Amaranth, let me know, because I want to spread this song like the PLAGUE! Or religion. Is that bad of me? I'll still buy it when it comes out!


...something ironic - I had JUST, not even five minutes before finding out that the song had been leaked and going on my wild song-hunt, spliced the intro of what I had got from a behind-the-scenes video of the filming of the Amaranth music vid onto the 30-sec clip that NW posted on their site, just so that I could have a 43-sec Amaranth-listening-experience.

And now I have the whole song.

Life rules.

Though some sleep would be nice.

23 Hours and counting. I have to go to class after work, too.

But life still rules.


Edit: I'm still at work, and I'm still listening to Amaranth. I just read an interestingly-translated song-by-song review of Dark Passion Play (the whole CD), and it sounds...just so cool. There's a Celtic theme at the end. Nightwish. Doing Celtic metal. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. Trivia - this is the most expensive album ever produced in Finnish history. Their upcoming tour will last a grand total of two and a half years. The Poet and the Pendulum is a 14 minute long orchestra-vs.-rock band suite (a la Ghost Love Score, but longer), it starts off the album, and it's allegedly Tuomas's new favorite song. And I use too many dashes.
  • Current Music
    NW - Amaranth
gray lake

Whoa.

I just totally gave in to my overwhelming desire to be a bitch. I can breathe again.

In other news, it's 7:15 in the morning. 16 Hours and 45 minutes till Order of the Phoenix, unless exhaustion has made me math-retarded.
  • Current Music
    Kamelot - Wander